Chicago IVF Blog

Top Tips for Reducing Performance Anxiety

Posted on September 1st, 2014


“Hey – it's me. You need to come home. I just peed on the stick and I'm ovulating. You've got an hour to come home and perform. Let's go!”

Who wouldn't welcome an invitation like that? If you've been trying to conceive for very long, then you understand the problem. It isn't long before he starts feeling like a sperm donor and she starts feeling like a drill sergeant, tracking every detail of the strategy, managing details and schedules as if you were preparing to go into battle.
You might long for the days of wine and roses when the biggest concern was an accidental pregnancy. But it's not too late to savor that lovin' feeling, even when the focus has changed to baby-making.

1. Focus
One of the tough parts about baby making sex is that sometimes you need to have sex when you really aren't in the mood. One approach is to go through the motions while mentally balancing the checkbook or problem-solving an work issue, but it's likely to lead to “Are we done yet?” thoughts. Another option is to intentionally focus on the moment. Get your head in the game, so to speak, and think about the way a touch feels, or how your partner is responding.

2. Set Reasonable Expectations
Let's be honest – it probably isn't going to be the best mind-blowing experience you've ever had. Sex can be romantic and fulfilling and even wildly erotic. But no couple has fireworks all the time. Baby making sex can be loving and hopefully, even satisfying! Let go of the idea that the perfect baby making sex has to be any certain way to “work.”

3. Try to Have Fun!
Keeping a sense of humor during baby making will make couple time more pleasurable.
Be honest – there is something funny about having to keep your hips and legs in the bicycle position after lovemaking.

4. Be Thoughtful
If you've been intimate with a partner for very long, you know what they enjoy and what really trips their trigger. Being a generous lover goes a long way to making the experience more pleasurable. Besides, seeing a partner obviously enjoying the experience can make it more exciting for you.

If you’re in need of fertility care or think you might be, find out how the fertility specialists of Chicago IVF can help build the family you've always wanted.
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